I need to start by saying sorry. Sorry to my readers, supporters, and friends that I have been away for so long. Life… that is all I can say. I hope you are all well and kicking ass, and taking names!!!
Today on a day that sadness as found me, I have thought of loss. When one losses someone, it is customary to attempt to up lift them and tell them things that may support those actions. Often times it is something along the lines of “it will get easier”, “Time heals” or even Something like, “it’s going to be okay”. Well the more and more I have thought about it over the years, the more and more I realize how untrue this is. Although yes, you do not cry daily or even every moment. No you do not sulk at every turn, but that does not mean it gets easier with time or even that you are healed as if miraculously back to who you were before the loss.
I do not want to take away from the people attempting to provide comfort, because they are coming from a good place. I just found it enlightening and liberating to truly think this through. Let’s be honest here, there is some level of pressure to heal and get back on the horse after loss. To get back to your daily life and all that goes with it. No matter the level off loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of self or someone you thought you were. No matter the loss there is a pressure to heal and everyone around you looks to you to heal according to their perception. I thought to myself, how can you be the same after a loss? How can you be expected to be the same, feel the same, act the same after? You can’t, at least you shouldn’t. So on today’s journey I found this… and I will leave it right here.
Those of you dealing with loss… you’ve got this and it is okay to grieve.
Still Undefeated Me
I’ve lost a lot not just through death and I have moved on. I have days where I miss and cry over the loss but the next day I continue to move on because life is change and I don’t want to be stuck behind. I have 4 grandchildren who have a whole future ahead of them so I get over and move on because they deserve my happiness. Oh I get angry when lupus sucks my energy, causes me to need a new pill to take care of some new illness. That’s my life. I have a good friend that they are about to put in hospice and it’s breaking my heart but life goes on. As I face 60 in a few years I realize I have more yesterday’s than tomorrow’s so I need embrace my joys more then mourn over my sorrows. I move on. But thats me everyone deals with loss in their own way.
Absolutely. The blog was not about being stuck in a situation and dwelling, but more about how is one supposed to be expected to be the same or even to leave the loss behind. If someone still continues to cry about it then one does not totally move on, no?
My name is Anuj Agarwal. I’m Founder of Feedspot.
I would like to personally congratulate you as your blog Undefeated Diva has been selected by our panelist as one of the Top 30 Lupus Blogs on the web.
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