Sleep… Not!

Sleep is the best meditation 

-Dalai Lama
Dear Sleep,

I miss you. For all those times I fought NOT to take you as a child…. I AM SORRY! Please forgive me and come back to me. I promise to love you and take care of you for the rest of my life! 

Yours Truly,

Good Morning Everyone! 

Sleep deprivation is real my people, but what am I saying most of you know that. I have always suffered with sleep difficulties as an adult, even more so after my diagnosis. I have never understood how ones body could be so very exhausted, yet not give in to sleep. Well you add an infant to that mix and you have one hell of a fun ride. I am totally and utterly amazed at the human body and its ability to function. 

If you see me on the streets and I do not make sense to you, just tell me you love me , hug me, and send me to bed! 😂 I had a friend that I was talking to last evening do that very thing!

On a fun note, I have a graph of my sleeping patterns! How cool is this. I was gifted a Fitbit a week ago and it has come in so handy with my sleep patterns. Check it out guys. I average about 3 hours and 40 minutes of sleep give or take a night. Not consecutive sleep of course, but over the course of the 8 plus hours I am in bed. Very cool apparatus… Have been considering getting the one with the heart rate. 
So guys, long story short… Get your sleep! If not you may be like me. Speaking jibberish and looking crazy! 🙂 Until then I will go to breakfast with my little man this morning as he has decided to shower me with the most beautiful conversation. 

Undefeated, super exhausted, jibberish speaking Diva


Miracles do happen!

Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.

Mao Zedong

When stuck in the rut of never ending doctor’s visits, hospital stays, medicines, and never knowing what will happen next it is difficult to consider that miracles happen. I am living proof that they do!

As many of you know from my Facebook and Instagram accounts, after many years of being told it would never happen… I am PREGNANT! I am living a beautiful miracle. After battling a small bout of cervical cancer in my early 20’s and getting diagnosed with my share of chronic illnesses, I was told for many years I would never be able to have a child or that it would not be safe to have biological children. Well how about this medical professionals… I’m pregnant with a beautiful little boy and am still kicking ass! I bet nothing in your medical schooling taught you to never underestimate a strong woman.

I will say it hasn’t been the easiest of roads, but there is no question from my family or myself that KNOWS this baby is a miracle. My Lupus has been at bay, my fibro although comes and goes has behaved in ways I didn’t know possible without medications, and my heart is full. I realize that this is not always the way for my fellow sisters out there, but like I always say… FIGHT. Trust in yourself my fellow spoonies. Trust in your instincts and knowledge. Remember that even if your doctor has known you all of your life, they are still not YOU! They cannot tell you how you feel and what is best for you.

Stay strong, love hard, and believe in miracles oh and above all… KEEP KICKING ASS!


Undefeated Diva