My Wrist Bling (Review)!

If I had my way, I’d wear jewelry, a great pair of heels and nothing else.
Jada Pinkett Smith

I love personalization… Anything with my personal touch or something sentimental has my vote!

Today, I received the most beautiful wrist bling. When I was first diagnosed, I felt like I was alone in the world on the never ending roller coaster ride filled of doctors visits and symptoms. The last 3 years have been filled with some of the most amazing moments… Today was one of them.

Last year I joined instagram and it I learned quickly the power of social media. I now never feel alone! I have a family constructed of the most beautiful and caring people in the world. In my lows I have sunshine and support, in my highs I have support and a team that would rival the olympic team.

Now, one of my beautiful Lupus Sisters makes some bling. I have seen so many of my other beautiful family members get her bling. I finally decided to jump in… and I am so excited and happy with the results.

Review:

From the first moment of interaction about the bracelet her customer service was impeccable. Foxxy took her time to explain the process in detail and took the time to ask in depth questions to get the concept of what I was looking to do. She asked questions, made suggestions, and allowed me to make a change before she sent the finished product.

Upon completion, she sent me the tracking information for my bracelets. They arrived so fast that I did not even get to the tracking information! When I opened the package, there was personalization everywhere. The personal touches and customer service were everywhere. When I opened the box, I was blown away. The quality was phenomenal. I initially had fears with the quality of a “stretchy” charm bracelet. I learned immediately that was not the case. Dare I say that my bling was better than the picture proofs she sent. When I put my bling on, the bracelet was heavy. The quality is superb. The color scheme was wonderful! Iw as so very surprised to find extra personal touches I did not see in the proof. There is nothing about the bracelets that don’t scream “I AM AMAZING and was made with love and care”. What I love most about my bling is that it was it is personal to me! It encompasses the essence of Undefeated Diva. (see photos below)

(The gloves signify undefeated)

So I say, if you are looking for impeccable customer service, personalized bling, and quality product made with love… I recommend http://foxxycharms.bigcartel.com.

 

Thank you Foxxy for my beautiful bling. I think I just found a great idea for christmas!

 

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I dare you say something!!!

“Not guilty by reason of Prednisone”
Gorgon

BOOM! You have a flare up, you stub your toe, you have chest pain, body aches. Just pick a complication, because 9 times out of 10 the treatment plan is still the same…Drum roll please….. STEROIDS… Most often Prednisone, but steroids come in several shapes and dosages.

You get sent home and reap the reprucussions of the side effects, of a medicine that is keeping you alive. The list of side effects to steroids is endless, but for me I cringe at the thought of the wrath. The silent hunger that creeps up on you and wakes you out of a dead sleep (when/if you can actually obtain it). A hunger that claws at your insides like you have not eaten in days… When honestly it has only been 2 hours! This of course is only one of many side effects. For me, a short fuse would not begin to describe the C4 loaded box in my chest. I know it’s there, I know why I am emotional, but hell if I can control the explosion once it is ignited; most often over nothing… *BOOM*

Then as the dust settles, if you are any type of human being you assess the casualties. Often times leaving in it’s wake it’s share of emotional hurt or pain. I am not saying this is right, but at least I am human enough to admit the truth. This is the problem ladies and gentlemen, often times people say they are being “real” when in all honesty it is the “real” they want to portray. Well, me, I am here to give it to you straight. If you don’t like it, well thats okay. I would be doing everyone an injustice if I sugarcoated even a word in my blogs. The down and dirty, good/bad/and sometimes ugly truth, SHIT HAPPENS and chronic illness SUCKS…

So to make me happy… Tonight as I wrote this up, I partook in a mini fiesta in my kitchen! I’ll give it to you guys, it did in fact look like I was hiding something; As I stood in the corner of my kitchen with only the light from my iPhone flashlight, going to TOWN on some amazing chips and dips… I laughed, because I sure as hell had NO SHAME! I had ignored the hunger for so long that the hunger pains actually ensued. My stomach started cramping up and the nausea kicked into hyperdrive… SO I had a choice… Eat the chocolates in my nightstand (resealable bag!) or get up and grab something more.

I will admit, I was craving the ultimate Philly Cheesesteak at that moment. In the end, I ended up with my small little fiesta and boy it was a party in my mouth! My fellow spoonies out there know what I am talking about. The first bite of whatever meal or snack you have when your on steroids is like nirvana. You could be eating a damn burnt hot dog and it tastes like the best meal in the world! My chips and dip did just that. The first bite of my chip, I threw my head back and “mmmm”. It sounds insane, because frankly it is. How could a medicine that is supposed to help you stay alive wreak so much havoc on you. Haven’t you been through enough? I mean for heaven sake you are on the medicine because you are not well.

 

NEVERTHELESS… Exhibit A below is a picture of my 12:17am fiesta! It hit the spot so well, I am thinking I may actually get some sleep tonight! SO, to my fellow spoonies out there suffering from midnight, midday, mid-second hunger/craving pains… I’VE GOT YO BACK! Ain’t No Shame In My Game! Eat, not to the point of being sick… but eat. I snack regularly, I eat fruits for snacks such as bananas (to keep the Potassium balances (Yet another problem from steroids)). I also get the 100 cal snack packs and although I may eat more than one, it is better then eating a damn Philly at 3 am!

In the end, I dare someone say something to me. I almost beg for someone to say something because I would use the opportunity to ask this…

What would you do if the medicine that was supposed to save your life, is also killing you slowly?

(YOU EAT CHIPS AND DIPS! BOOM)

🙂 Good Night and sweet dreams!

 

XOXO,

ME!

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The 26th mile…

I try to be grateful for the abundance of the blessings that I have, for the journey that I’m on and to relish each day as a gift.

Thud Thud Thud… Breath Breath Breath…
Sweat beading down my face, the air at my back. The blissful pain in my calves. The fire of another breath of air filling my lungs. The cramping in my side because I had too much water before I started. The sound of the internal thoughts and feelings running through your mind. Do you hear it? The pounding of the pavement? It’s invigorating…

I have always had an affinity for running, although the time has come in my life that I can no longer partake. In my teens I would run to stay in shape for whatever activity my beautiful ADD would obsessive over at the time. It was an amazing release! This was of course the time before iPods existed, if most can actually remember those days. Of course to carry a walkman while running was just not acceptable bulkiness, nevertheless it allowed me to become one with my emotions and my thoughts. Often times I was running around a track or down a trail either leading or following a team of girls, but honestly even back then I knew I was far beyond the mindset of the young ladies I was running with. While many worried about prom and cliques, I worried about my family and what I would amount to in life. Now, that is not to say I didn’t indulge in my formative teenage years, but anyone will tell you I was a unique mindset even then.

I have always wanted to run a marathon, more so for myself and whichever beautiful cause I was supporting at the time. I have always wondered what that last .2 miles must feel like (YES I AM AWARE A MARATHON IS NORMALLY 26 MILES AND 385YARDS, Which normally equals to 26.2 miles give or take). I have always wanted to run and know what the feeling of crossing that finish line was like. To be able to collapse to my knees and thank the lord for giving me the energy to do it. All in all a beautiful vision/ dream of mine. Knowing my family they would be there at the finish line with Wipes, TONS of water, gatorade, bananas, and last but most importantly LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES! I would know my family was there because we are loud and we show support and love much louder than most! There would be signs and bullhorns and extra TLC at every turn.

In the recent months, and honestly since I was diagnosed with Lupus I have seen my life as a journey. I will say that the recent months though have taught me a great deal. I wasn’t allowing the journey of my life to take shape, because I wanted to control it at every turn I saw fit. If something wasn’t right, I needed to put my spin on it. I awoke myself recently in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and emotional pain that would rival most of my Lupus flares. In those moments of tears and raw pain seared emotions I realized that I wasn’t allowing things to create it’s own journey. It’s very hard for someone like me that is used to taking care of things or being the one people depend on, to not fix things. Control freak? Maybe…. Type A personality? Probably… Warrior? HELL YES!

I have used my Lupus as a weapon, which in reality is not healthy but necessary. It’s not healthy because using it as a weapon is a crutch but it is necessary for the warrior in me never to give up. Can you see I am fighting a conundrum? So I sit and I write…

I have since started allowing life’s journey to form in front of me, although never allowing it to slip from my grasp and placing the flare I so often do on things. I go back to my metaphor… Thud Thud Thud… Breath in and out… Heart rate elevated… sweat beating down my face, back, and legs… The metaphor for running for me is my current state in my journey. I feel the earth below me moving and although it is still there is a vibration in it for me. Have you ever felt your journey taking shape? Have you ever stopped for just a moment and felt life shift ever so slightly under you?

My current view in life… is just that! I feel as though I am running a marathon and I am in the home stretch, I see the finish line to the journey I am on but do not see the rest. I feel like the journey I am on is going to come to an end , but there is something so amazing about to open up. As if the next journey’s light is shining so brightly I can feel it before I even hit this journeys finish line. So here I am journey… Running… I am in the last .2 stretch of this marathon and I am gearing up for the next…

I am hoping for lots of love, laughter, and amazing energy!!!!

XOXO,

UD

Making Lupus Look Good!

Thought I would take a moment to share with all of you, the Shinanigans going on in my Instagram/Facebook world.
“My beautiful and brilliant Twisted Twin sista from another mista @lupusdiva called me out to do this sexy and beautiful Lupus Collage Challenge! Put up your sexy and gorgeous pictures so we can all continue to make lupus look amazing! Call as many lupus ladies as you would like… I call my beautiful Spoonie sisters @erinmeghan23 @walker_eleni @divacor @thuggin_wit_lupus … AND fuck it because I go against the grain my Spoonie Brother @lupusbro927 can’t leave him hanging!!!!!”

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It was nice to see all of the beautiful faces of Lupus/Chronic Illness. I wanted to share my post from IG …

XOXO,

Undefeated Diva

Even the fiery advocate gets tired…

Man has got to know his limitations. Clint Eastwood

“Oh you look better”, “you don’t look sick”… Or the ever agonizing look of pity or question of whether you are faking it…

I was ashamed of myself when I walked out of the doors of my school today. Sunglasses on, bags on my shoulders, I just left after what should have been me waiting to speak to my advisor. See, because even the fiery advocates get tired of advocating sometimes.

Unfortunately, this semester of college has been one of my toughest. I have been in the middle of a flare up of epic proportions. Although I have my good days, those have been farther and farther apart. The good days are actually bad day’s that I have medicated myself, slept for 2 days prior to them, yet still take 2 hours to get dressed. Often times I wonder if I will even make it to class most Wednesdays, never really thinking about the on-line classes I can’t seem to wrap my brain around due to the epic brain fog. Today I had the option of sitting with my advisor, which happens to also be a current professor of mine. I sat while she spoke to another student and then it hit me. I have fallen behind in her class and here I was going to sit in front of her and discuss my future. Although my face had make-up on (miracles do happen), I was put together, and standing upright she could not see the turmoil and pain I was in. The impending migraine that was threatening a night of torture and the fact that the sheer touch of my shirt to my skin felt like shards of glass. Nor would she be able to tell that my body was threatening me with the possibility of passing out from the dizziness I have had for two days. So as I sat there and watched her speak to another student, I made the decision I was allowed to say I AM DONE… for the day and leave. For a natural born advocate like myself, it was a realization. The realization that I had “given in” to the pressure of stigma, that I talked myself into walking out when I hadn’t even given her the chance to talk to me. What I did do though, was show myself that I know my limits!

Every person has their limits. Today, I knew that I had reached mine. I knew that a look from her or too many questions would have turned me into an angry and defensive me. I would have been no advocate at all, I would have been a stereotype… So I left. As I felt defeat walking out the door, I felt no more as I drove over the beautiful bridge met by sunshine and clear waters in my town. I knew I had done the right thing, which was advocate to myself and for myself that today was not the day.

So the lesson for today… Is even the strongest of us advocates gives in. Sometimes it’s ok not to “advocate”, if you know that really you are causing more harm than advocacy.

XOXO,
Tired Undefeated Diva

An original made out of anger!

I present to you…. My future t-shirt for Team Undefeated Divas!

I have decided to trademark it for the future use of Lupus Awareness!

I present… AINT NOBODY GOT SPOONS FOR THAT!

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Have to admit, this hysterical creation was manifested out of a heated moment. I was feeling very overwhelmed by what I call a “lupus moment” and I yelled…. Shut up, AIN’T NO BODY GOT SPOONS FOR THAT RIGHT NOW!!!! In the moment I was angry and very serious… but all it took was 30 seconds to realize what I said and burst out in immense laughter.

It seems that all of my best creations are created out of madness :). So here you go.

Xoxo,
Undefeated Diva

On Facebook

Technology and social media have brought power back to the people.
Mark McKinnon

Good Morning World and Happy Friday!

I hope that all of you are having a wonderful morning, noon, or night. I have been asked by a couple of my blog family members if I was on any social media and I was except for Facebook, that is until now. If you ask you shall receive:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Undefeated-Diva/1386807961561329

One of my blog family made a fantastic point, it is much easier to communicate via FB with anyone then it is to do so through my blog. So if you have some time come on over and show your support!

Thank you all for your support of my writing and my journey!

Much love on this Friday,
Undefeated Diva

2014 Top Lupus Blog!

There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this. 

-Unknown-

I saw this quote a multitude of times this week and although I felt I understood it,  there came a moment this week that I truly realized I didn’t know the magnitude of it until that very moment things changed. I disappeared for a few days this week on a quest of my own. A quest of solitude, enlightenment, and adventure. To say that I found it all would be an understatement of epic proportions. Not only was I blessed to have had the opportunity for a free getaway, but during that getaway I was blessed beyond words. I was blessed to know what it is like to be “heard” or “published”(in a way). 

During my adventure I found a little piece of me that I have put on pause for some time, that piece of me that was daring beyond boundaries and fear. So one day I ignited her, that part of me that has been ready to take on the world since the womb. Wouldn’t you know that my questions and hard work would pay off in dividends. 

I am beyond humbled to announce that you are now reading one of 2014’s TOP Lupus Blogs from Healthline.com! I received the email on Tuesday afternoon and it rendered me speechless! The editors will have it up in the next couple of weeks, but made sure to include the embedded photo below so that I could include it on my blog. I can not express how much it means to me to be able to advocate and share not just my story but that of millions of others on a MUCH bigger scale. 

Thank you to all of you that have followed my journey from day one and that follow my writings now. Above all, THANK YOU to my A-Team… for always having my back and kicking me in the ass when I need it! 

XOXO, 

Rejuvenated Undefeated Diva 

 

 

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-lupus-blogs#1

 

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Setbacks

I think whether you’re having setbacks or not, the role of a leader is to always display a winning attitude.
Colin Powell

2 weeks I tell you!
I never realized the severity of my pain, until it was longer present. The loving caress of modern medicine helped me achieve what I thought was impossible… a pain free life. Unfortunately today, just 2 weeks from the first blissful day I am suffering an epic setback.

Today is a 6 or 7 kind of day. In my house we go on a 0-10 scale for pain.
0-4- Is an amazing day. I can jump, run, and have energy that will carry me most of the day.
5-7- Rough… Swelling and pain accompanies most of my body. My body hurts to the touch and I have a bit of brain fog.
8-10- Debilitated. These are the days I drink my morning coffee out of a straw!

Today… Well I am a 6-7. Not truly terrible, but in enough pain to render me a bit useless this beautiful morning. This setback though, hurts more emotionally. Truthfully when you live with a chronic illness that is accompanied by chronic pain you learn to live with it. The pain and symptoms become a part of your daily life, so to be honest there comes a point that you forget what life was like prior to it all. The 13 days prior to today were amazing! I was able to climb a jungle gym, to stay awake for a 9pm show, and experience consecutive day’s of getting dressed with no pain or having to pick out an outfit that wasn’t difficult on my hands. On day one… I didn’t believe it, I walked around as if I was in pain just because I was fearful I may have been hallucinating! 🙂 Yes, quite a crazy concept but again I didn’t remember what life was like prior to all of the pain and hurt. By day 7 I was back to being the closest version of “me” I could remember. I was doing laundry, reorganizing my office, and banging out papers for school like if it were the easiest equation in a math book. I laughed a little harder and swore that I would live each day a little more now, which I thought was impossible since I am one to climb a tree if I feel compelled to.

What I hadn’t realized was that although I was “living my life to the fullest”, I was doing so in the realm of “pained Chris” not the real me. I always considered the repercussions of even a long shopping trip, or a longer drive to the pharmacy. So really was I living? or was I existing within the means I set forth for myself? Either way… I was alive again!!!! Today that feeling was setback, I won’t say crushed because it was real! I remember what it was like before the pain and anguish. I remembered what it was like to be able to be hugged and not cringe at the pain when someone was showing me love. I remembered what it was like to wake in the morning and not have to worry that I wouldn’t be able to do something as simple as brushing my teeth.

So setbacks… I love the quote above by Colin Powell, because in the end it’s my attitude that has gotten me this far. I was not delusional in my understanding that I would have bad day’s along the way, it’s part of the illness I live with. I won’t allow it to crush what I remember now, so thank you modern medicine for the reminder. I will be pushing to find that life again… to find the me before the pain.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!
Undefeated Diva!

1 Week Left!!!

One week until the very first time Team Undefeated DIVA’S will be represented in person at the 2014 Lupus Walk of South West Florida… I can’t tell you how flipping excited I am. I have represented family and friends in many walks and have been on the planning crew of several works BUT I have never done a walk for myself! This is a first ladies and gents and I am both nervous and excited. I am raising awareness for something that has taken by body and life hostage… AND I get to do this with some of the most amazing people in the world… My freaking A TEAM!!!!

Below is a small passage from the event I created online. If you have a moment check out the link. If you aren’t doing anything next Saturday, WELL come on out and hang with us for 3 hours!!!

Hello Friends and Family,

At 28 I have been through a journey most would never see from looking at my face. I have seen the dark side of an illness that does not discriminate. I fight back daily, but I have decided to fight back in public now! Join me in walking for MY cause…. Join me in walking to find a cure for Lupus.

You can donate or join my team… or cheer from the sidelines… Your support in any way possible is appreciated! Thank you for supporting me in my journey and the Lupus Foundation of America – Southeast Florida Chapter. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1084765&supId=394273168

With Love and Kisses,

The original Undefeated Diva!